Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:47 am
Spoonie in Training
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:00 am
Location: St. Louis, MO
Okay... I've though about this a while and I need to chime in again.
One thing I decided early on in my disability was that, no matter what, it was not personal. Regardless what I did or didn't believe (because I wasn't sure if I believed in god at the time...), I decided to believe that there was no way that the Universe was out to get me. I'm not the only one who suffers. Innocents suffer every day, their only crime being born into the world. There's no ******** way possible any omniscient being is that mean.
Sometimes, all the holes in the swiss cheese line up. And, health-wise, they just happened to line up on us. Someone had to be that placeholder, statistically (I believe). But it's nothing personal. It's not punishment. If *anything*, (and I mean if you _have_ to believe in some sort of predetermination) we volunteered for the detail because we knew our souls were strong enough.
There's that question in The Actor's Studio, "when you get to the pearly gates, what would you like god to say to you?"
I fully believe for folks like us they don't say a thing. They give a standing ovation.
Hang in there. And thanks for inspiring this discussion.
Dx: Panhypopituitary (secondary hypoadrenal, hypothyroid, secondary hypogonad), chronic recalcitrant migrains (semi-resolved with ONS device), Sjogren's Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, on SSDI