I've used the same tags they used in the writer's block post just to be snide about it.
If I were doing marketing for Intel, I'd do so unapologetically:
Intel, when you absolutely have to email 2.5 million people about penis enlargement in less than a second.
Intel - because you need your computer to crash more effectively.
Intel - because we didn't make enough money the last time we sold you horribly outdated equipment.
And they wonder why the new generation hates the corporate sponsor game.